I was recently disturbed by a post I saw on social media. Someone I don’t even know was raging about how society can’t be surprised when a minority member is an angry jerk because they already “killed all the nice ones” and deserve it. This is an interesting supposition...
The idea I saw behind that statement was that when people are being oppressed and hated, staying gentle and silent will make you an easier target. I can’t attest to the validity of that thought, but there is something about the anger response I can speak to from experience. I will start with this fact: it is unequivocally unacceptable to hate on, oppress, or kill another human being for any reason; be it their skin color, culture, gender, sexuality, religion, or life choices. And anyone who has been so wronged by even one person or by an entire society that condones that kind of hatred is justified in their anger. What we choose to do with that anger is where the test of our character comes in. When you respond as viciously in your anger as you were first attacked, you are giving your attacker the power to control you. Your words and actions are YOUR choice, but by choosing to rise to their level of hostility, you are giving them complete control over the conversation. You are putting them in charge and making yourself even more their victim. (This psychological dynamic can be seen clearly through victim mentalities in bullying dynamics across any setting. Check out this video on bullying to see what I mean https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oKjW1OIjuw) Instead, when we choose to be the bigger person - not by rolling over and allowing ourselves to be persecuted, but by standing up for ourselves calmly and as peacefully as possible - we then control the conversation. The Biblical jargon for this is to turn the other cheek (Matthew 5:38-40). Jesus told us to Love our enemies and to pray for them (Matthew 5:43-48). He didn’t say you had to become best buds and sing kumbaya while roasting marshmallows, but love does require some level of kindness. Loving someone who hates you has nothing to do with making yourself vulnerable to them; it means letting go of your right to hate them back. Something today’s world doesn’t demonstrate a lot of. When YOUR response and YOUR attitude are the only things you can control, don’t give that up to the bullies too. Don’t be a jerk just because you feel entitled to be a jerk or use foul language because something terrible happened to you. That just places you in the position of furthering the problem and justifying your attackers in their hatred. If survivors of the Holocaust can find things to keep living for and smile about, then I guarantee we can all find a way to make today a good day and live in peace with one another. When Jesus said “I give you a new commandment: love one another...as I have loved you” (John 13:34), he wasn’t being ignorant to the fact that there are bullies and oppressors in this world who will choose to make others' lives hell. He was challenging us to rise above that crap and to extend something we may not have been given to those people who most definitely don’t deserve it: grace.
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March 2023
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