The life I’ve been given to live is so beautiful!! Here at the beginning of my adult life I’m already collecting tools to help me heal from past wounds so I don’t have to carry their weight around with me forever. I’m being given the opportunity to grow through hard experiences so I know my true inner strength and resiliency. I’m being given space to process, grieve, and reconcile with myself as needed and at nobody’s pace but my own. I’ve been given more time to transition and prepare than I ever would have had the courage to ask for on my own. I’m surrounded by an amazing group I call family, and that family has just increased by one! The birth of my honorary niece today is such an utter joy that makes this already sweet day one of the absolute sweetest and one I will remember for years and years to come!!
God is so good, and His hand is truly upon my life for good and not for harm. I can even see His hand in places where I’ve been wronged. I was mistreated and taken advantage of by an authority I felt trapped under, but that doesn’t mean God was any less in that experience with me. I know He led me to that place and that position for a reason, and that He knew from the very beginning what would eventually take place. His covering over me doesn’t make what they did acceptable, but it does give me peace in knowing that those sins against me are not my responsibility to judge, but His. My concept of justice and ability to dole it out is flawed and insufficient, but His is perfect. While I may not currently have the satisfaction of reaping the full rewards of my labor, I can have satisfaction in knowing that God is my ultimate provider. I have everything I currently need, and trust that He will continue to provide for my needs wherever We go. That is what it means for me to “work with all of my heart as if unto Jesus, not to earthly masters” (Colossians 3:23). And I have consolation in being wronged because when we stand before the judgement throne, I know He will not forget about me or my attackers. We will each be held responsible for our own choices, actions, and responses - no one else’s. I can only seek to respond to injustice in a righteous manner on my own part, not to seek justice for myself or anyone else outside of His plan to administer it. If that justice is to be served here on earth, I will gladly welcome and partner with it. If not, there’s no use in me carrying those wrongs to my grave because I know they’re in His book already. I have been given countless opportunities to learn and grow from my own mistakes, and so have others. I can only hope for their sakes that they choose repentance and growth so they can receive forgiveness and learn to help others rather that hurting them. That’s what I’m trying to do, and it’s such a more beautiful and rewarding way to live! And no matter what they choose, I have peace in knowing it’s not my job to the be anyone’s cosmic accountant - keeping track of rights and wrongs as I see them. I’m happy to pass that role along to the only One who is qualified and capable of holding such a responsibility. What a relief!!
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ErikaJeremiah 29:11 Archives
March 2023
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