I used to spend hours on end working on art homework in school, and I never got tired of it. If anything, I gained energy and inspiration the longer I worked. That's the only time I've ever felt like that, so I figured it was finally time to do that for real. Unfortunately as soon as I started taking my art seriously again, I also felt the reality of how far behind I am. In many ways I'm starting over from scratch, and that's not a feeling I'm used to. It's way too easy to start comparing myself to the recent graduates and industry professionals that I'm starting to work with, but that comparison is totally toxic.
If I were already perfect at something, then there would be no room for change or growth. I love seeing progress in my style as I continue to grow my skillset and expand my interests. I'm proud of where I've come from and I'm excited about where I'm heading. I wouldn't get to have any of that if I was always perfect all the time (despite what my inner critic would have me believe). I'm proud of who I've become and how hard I've had to work to get to this version of myself. I never want to stop becoming someone better than I was the day before. And inherently, therefore, I can never actually arrive at perfection (even if that was possible) because then there would be nowhere else to go. So then I can stop pressuring myself to hurry up because it's not a race! I want to push myself to improve, but not to the point of putting myself down for not being something I'm not supposed to be.
This year has been far from anything I'd hoped or imagined it would be, but because of that it's brought me breakthroughs and experiences I'd also never expected. With each raincloud comes a silver lining and the refreshing rains of change to keep my heart soft. In every step of change, God remains faithful and true. With every loss, His provision continues to hold me and offer new direction. I don't know what the future holds, but I know it will be messy and beautiful in ways I can never see coming. I'm just so glad I get to come along for the ride!
1 Comment
Steve Valenti
1/20/2022 07:58:10 am
Wow! Your art is So beautiful ! You are so blessed 🥳🥳 Very intelligent. I'm a Fan
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