I started a new job a couple of weeks ago and even though I had no idea what to expect going into it, I can already say that I totally love it!! I love being challenged to apply my skill set to a totally new sphere, and I love that I'm helping rebuild my city and restore people's homes to them after the fires of 2017, but more than that I love the people I get to work with every single day.
I've worked for some lovely Christians before and had very nice coworkers in other contexts, but this group is undoubtedly different than any other I've ever experienced. This is the first time that I've gotten to work in an environment where the entire atmosphere is in line with God's word and His heart for restoration. I'd never even imagined how awesome it would be to take time out of a busy afternoon to pray through something with my coworkers, or to have them care more about my well-being than my productivity... at first I didn't even know how to handle it, and now I don't know that I'll ever be able to go back to anything else, lol. One of the most impactful differences that I've been processing is the difference between the spirit of poverty and the spirit of radical generosity. Our society's norms fall so far into the spirit of poverty that it seeps into our mindsets towards nearly everything around us. It feeds into consumerism and the idea that we need to look out for ourselves before we look out for others. Living out of a poverty mindset makes us count the pennies, the minutes, and every single you-owe-me we can possibly find. It's the spirit that leads to the idea that our employees can't take five minutes off to chat while they're still on the clock, or that we need to buy the cheaper doohickey right now while it's on sale rather than save up for the quality one later on. It can also twist itself into the spirit that holds onto the record of wrongs, aka the ways in which I wasn't treated the way I should have been. The spirit of poverty tells us that our futures are not secure, and therefore we need to hold onto everything just in case someone tries to take it away from us. Frankly, it exhausting. And it's also toxic to any relationships we allow it to influence. I've struggled with this mindset over the years and had varying success in separating it from my thoughts and attitudes, but at the end of the day the only way to truly separate yourself from it is to replace it with something else. The spirit of poverty is toxic and infectious, but what makes it the most dangerous is that it's also very logical *if* you are operating apart from a genuine understanding of God and His kingdom economy. God's economy is one that defies the wisdom of this world and operates on the principal of radical generosity. Instead of looking for what will most help me get ahead, generosity looks for the ways in which I can most help you succeed. Generosity sees the value in pausing what I'm doing in order to help you when you need it (without any expectation of reciprocation in the future). A true understanding of God's generosity sees that all of my needs are already taken care of by Him, so that frees me up to look for ways to help others. Even when I don't yet see how His provision will cover my needs, I can know that He looks out for me because I am living in the shadow of His wings. Instead of trusting in my own power to provide for myself, generosity trusts in God's power to take better care of me than I ever could. While generosity is something I believe we all need a better understand of, and that I could talk about at length, the mindbomb God gave me this week actually went another step further: God doesn't love us out of a spirit of poverty. I know that this concept probably doesn't sound surprising at face value, but the ramifications of it are massive. Our images of God are directly based on how we've experienced the world. Our picture of God as a good heavenly father means very little if we did not first have a good earthly father to build that pattern off of. We can only love as well as we've experienced being loved by others, which is why we so often see emotional wounds get passed on through multiple generations of a family before someone is finally able to rise about their upbringing and break the cycle of brokenness. In the same way, we are born into the natural disadvantage of not being able to even conceive of the magnitude of God's love because no other human being is physically capable of showing us that same kind of love. This is what makes a personal and redeeming walk with God so critically important to spiritual growth throughout our lives. He must systematically re-write and re-define our past emotional experiences in order for us to even begin to understand how much He loves us. But because our beginning template with which to understand God is based off of how we understand man, we begin assuming things about His character that are simply not true. Many people often view God as a harsh taskmaster or as someone who will be disappointed by our failures. These are ideas that essentially boil down - once again - to the assumption of a poverty mindset. If God is upset by my inability to become perfect overnight, it's probably because He wants to maximize my utility as His servant. If He has pre-written my life and the things I am supposed to accomplish, then every moment I spend backsliding, or even just enjoying my youth, is a moment I'm stealing from His "greater plan." Even though these statements sound rather exaggerated and ridiculous once they're written on paper, I have to admit that I've operated with these assumptions for years now and often felt guilty for not doing more or being better than I already am. The truth of God's heart for us goes so far beyond this! In fact, it stopped me in my tracks when He planted this in my heart on Thursday. Yes, I believe He knows the strengths He has given each of us and how we can best serve His kingdom with them, but He also knows our weaknesses and He doesn't begrudge us for them. In fact, they are also a part of his plan for us. It's our weaknesses that drive us to need Him so much, and He is the one who want us to take time to sit and rest on a consistent basis so we don't overwork ourselves or burn out. God's value isn't productivity, it's relationship. This makes no sense from a poverty mindset, but it makes every bit of sense from the perspective of radical generosity. Generosity is patient and will go to any necessary length to make sure that the best result is ultimately achieved. If that means picking you up after you fall for the 700th time, He's ready for it. And He's also excited to get to be the one who picks you up for the first 699 times. He doesn't care about how long it takes you to get the hang of it, just so long as the journey leads you to understand how crazy He is about you. And why would He do that?? Because we can only love as well as we've experienced being loved. We can only extend grace to others as far as we've been shown grace ourselves. We can only reflect God's image as well as we can see it for ourselves. Our being refined into His image is the best witness we could ever be to this world, and that is far more valuable to Him than any number of volunteer days or Bible studies. I would even go so far as to say that it means more to him that us bringing others to salvation. Don't get me wrong, He rejoices with every individual soul that comes to know Him, and that is one of the most precious ways in which we can partner with His heart for restoration. But I don't think the impetus for their salvation is ultimately on our shoulders. God is big enough to be able to introduce Himself - He doesn't need us to play matchmaker for Him. And if we take more time to bring others to Him without even knowing Him well for ourselves, then we are only replicating an unsustainable and lifeless model.
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ErikaJeremiah 29:11 Archives
March 2023
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