Right now our nation is being twisted and torn by immense pressures of pain, hurt, frustration, and fear. We've all been impacted heavily by the pandemic and now we are grieving over the murder of George Floyd. It seems like everyone from every sphere has something to say, and I've held back from adding my voice to the cacophony because I didn't want to add to the noise needlessly. And while I still don't think that my voice will have any bearing on the grand scale dialogue, my heart has felt a heavy burden to take this time to explore and rediscover an attitude of honor. In the midst of so many different opinions swirling back and forth, it's so important that we learn how to honor the voices and the experiences of those who have lived through things we ourselves haven't.
Honor is a concept I think most people are familiar with in some way, but it's also a little too ambiguous of a word in English to be commonly referenced. We know the Bible says to honor our father and mother (Exodus 20:12), and that this is the first command that comes with a promise - "that it will go well with you in the land" - so clearly this is significant and important to God, but who on average could give a clear answer of what that commandment means practically in our own lives? In English honor can mean anything from showing respect or adhering to a conventional standard of what is right, to paying a bill or defending a lady's chastity. The word honor is used in so many different contexts, yet because it is used so widely I worry that it has begun to lose impact. Our western culture's concept of honor has been progressively watered down and under-valued over the years, and in its place I see a value for individualism and personal pride growing stronger and stronger. I've heard some people refer to shame as the opposite of honor, but in many ways I see pride as a much bigger opponent. Shame comes from an internal sense of failure to expectations placed on us either by ourselves or by our community. And whether or not that sense of failure is accurately assessed, it is inherently based on a sense of achievement or accomplishment (aka works). But honor should never be based on works, it is inherent and should be shown universally. The Bible tells us to honor our father and mother, period. Not to honor them only if we think they did a good job or to honor the ones who "succeeded," but to honor them simply because they are our parents. Honor is not earned, nor is it even a form of agreement or approval. And in many ways it actually says a lot more about the one showing honor than the one receiving it. A person who shows honor must first set aside their own personal pride and see outside of their own myopic world in order to recognize the worth of another. It requires humility and the laying down of that pride we've grown up treasuring so much. While American culture teaches us to fight for our own voice to be heard, a culture of honor makes room for the voices of the marginalized to be heard. We can't effectively lift someone else up if we are actively trying to make our own voice the loudest. A person of honor uses their position and influence to make room for those less strong than them rather than trying to gain more strength for themselves. A person of honor also recognizes where they still have a lack of understanding and seeks out those who have gone before them. And in many ways it is more honorable to be the one who recognizes where honor is due rather than being one who demands it for themselves. I heard once that a teacher who blows his own horn has an audience of one, and I think it's so true that as soon as we desire to be recognized for our own worth or wisdom before we desire to recognize that of another, we become a clanging gong no one wants to listen to no matter how right we may be. To honor someone is to see them and to recognize their value. Whether or not we always have the right words to articulate it, I think a common feeling amongst any marginalized group is that we feel honored when we are seen and recognized. Right now our country's awareness of racial sensitivity has been turned up 1000%, and in the midst of all the conversations I've been hearing, there is a common heart cry and desire to been seen and heard. People feel honored when their worth is acknowledged and when they are asked for their perspective, or when they see someone they identify with being given an opportunity to talk about their shared experience. People feel honored when they are treated fairly and not discriminated against because of something they can't control. Across the board whether it's a matter of ethnicity, gender, age, religion, education, etc there are so many points of unspoken preference that get shown everyday, and where one person is being preferred, another is being quietly discriminated against. And there are few things as subtly yet deeply painful as being overlooked, particularly in situations where your opinion really does matter. Failing to recognize someone's authority on a subject is one of the most accidentally dishonoring things I have ever seen, and while it's rarely done maliciously that still makes it anything but OK. Let's learn to love our brothers and sisters by showing honor to them - not as white or black or young or old, but as wonderfully created human beings with hearts and minds of their own. Let's honor people as perfect creations who have lived and experienced things we ourselves haven't. And even if we think we know what they've been through or that our stories aren't so different, let's still ask them what they think rather than making an assumption. The Hebrew word for honor in the Bible is "kavod," which is literally translated as "to add weight." We add weight to something by showing it honor and recognizing its significance. We show a teacher honor by listening intently and taking their words seriously. We show elders honor by taking the time to ask them questions and listen to their stories. We show a neighbor honor by respecting the boundaries they have set, even if it's something as mundane as not playing loud music after 8pm because that's when they put their kids to bed. We show a friend honor by letting them know how much we value the experiences we've shared together. We can even show an opponent honor by listening to their words and waiting patiently for our turn to respond, regardless of how different our own opinions might be. Showing honor is an extension of human decency and dignity, something that we all desire to receive regardless of who we are or how society perceives us. Jesus lived a life of honor even while He was stirring the pot and challenging the constructs of society, so likewise we have no excuse not to also love by honoring and preferring one another. I decided to name this post after Romans 12:9-10 because I feel like it sums this thought up perfectly: "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." The ESV even phrases it as "Outdo one another in showing honor." I love that! Let's outdo one another in taking the low road like Jesus did. Let's see who can be the first to raise up the one who is hurting or who has been overlooked and forgotten. Let's be the first to ask how we can help rather than to think we deserve to be helped. This is as much a conviction for my own heart as it is an encouragement I want to pass on, and that is why I have resolved to always take more time to learn from others and ask to hear their stories than I care to tell my own.
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ErikaJeremiah 29:11 Archives
March 2023
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