Last weekend I drove myself across California - all the way from Sonoma County to LA and back - and it was kind of a big deal! Granted, I've traveled halfway around the world and taken multiple international flights all by myself before, but this experience was something different. I was not only completely alone in my car for the roughly 8-hour drive; I had to take on a new level of responsibility for myself. I got my car checked out by the mechanic beforehand, prepped my allergy-free meals in a cooler, and made a thorough itinerary to leave with my mom so she knew where I would be, who I'd be with, and even where I was planning on making gas stops. In short, it felt like a self-confirmation of my adulthood and ability to do things on my own.
The trip itself was fantastic! I got a tour of Cal Poly SLO, where I intend on going to college next year; I got to stay with a dear friend and celebrate her bridal shower with her; and I got to stay with another friend and go to Joshua Tree for the first time. There was never a dull moment and it could have only been improved by having more time with them! Contrary to my expectations, the drive time itself turned out to be one of the biggest blessings of all. I'm a person who loves to take quiet time with God each day, but it's still only a brief respite before the stresses of the day eventually come due. Sitting in the car for what accumulated into two whole days gave me a lot of abnormally uninterrupted time to think, process, and pray over the major things going on in my life. One of the most significant conclusions that came out of that time had to do with the college I visited... For me, to live a happy life is to be passionate about whatever it is I'm doing. While accounting is my degree, it is not my passion. However, it may be something that opens doors for whatever it is I'm passionate about... Having my degree will give me the opportunity to get a good job and develop a successful career, if I so choose to pursue that. Going away to college will also give me a much-needed change of pace and living situation. It's a steppingstone towards something greater, but that's exactly what I need to remember: it's just a stepping stone. Going to college isn't my end-all, be-all. I'm going there to get some valuable tools that will help me to better be who I want to be in life; I'm not going so either my education or my career can define my life. I would much rather apply myself towards finding out what I'm truly passionate about than to worrying about whether or not I can make it into the right college. Even while there, my energy will be better spent taking the time to do the things I love than to kill myself to get the right grades. My time and my energy are the greatest investment I can put into anything. Unlike money, they are things I can never earn back, so I want to make sure I'm only giving them to things that will truly make a difference for who I am. For me, that's writing, painting, singing, hiking, dancing, travelling, going deep into God's word, and being the best friend I can possibly be. The same principal on the spiritual level is equally true. My focus is much better spent on the things that have eternal significance than the immediate. I would far rather put my energy into becoming the person I want to be than into building up the assets I want to have. I want to be a person who is kind, gentle, patient, strong, wise, compassionate, and encouraging to others. It is far more important to me that I spend my life seeking after those things than that I get the right education, have the right job, or even get to do the things I want to do. In the end, none of that will come with me. The only things I can build up in my life that will truly last are the fruits that I give God room to grow inside of me. They are what I want to be known for and they are going to be my greatest legacy.
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March 2023
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