"For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight..."
1 Corinthians 3:19 How extraordinarily true! I have been having to engage in a lot more spiritual warfare in the last two months than usual. So many things in my life decided to happen all at once, sending me spinning in so many directions emotionally that I've had to cling to God on such a deeper level than ever before!! It's amazing what you learn going through the process of having your world turned upside down and not having the luxury to fall apart with it... God is so full of grace and compassion on me, even when I freak out He is there and teaching me as I go along. Things that don't make logical sense to this world but that are spiritual realities. I've found that my greatest weapon is peace. Not an earthly peace, but a peace that surpasses understanding. A quietness in my spirit no matter what the circumstances are around me. Such that I don't even seem to notice the storms. It comes when it makes no sense and permeates everything that I am. That is so much more powerful than the fieriest prayer or hours of intense intercession. I've learned that my greatest strength is found in joy, not in seriousness. It's not happiness - it's so much more than that. It's the looking up and seeing from an eternal perspective. It's taking the time to smell the flowers and knowing that God planted them there for me to smell. Being able to look darkness in the face and laugh because I know how much bigger and better my God is. It's in the way God does little things to tell me He loves me that don't affect anyone but me and can turn the worst day into a song. It's like dancing in between lightning bolts. In all this, my home is my secret place. The place where I spend time with Him. It's a pocket within my life - a world within my world - that is safe, pure, and beautiful. It's where He is faithful to always meet me and where I know I can go no matter what. He is my safe place and in His arms I can let go of all my burdens and rest. So my warfare is actually worship...
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God is incredible! He gives me exactly what I need when I need it...no sooner.
I just got back to Kona after taking a VERY needed week and a half at home. The memorial service for my grandpa was wonderful and the funeral hit me HARD, but both brought me unimaginable closure. Going into it, I was so frazzled and worn out that I was a nervous breakdown waiting to happen. I cried a lot and was immeasurably blessed to have my friends and family around me. After that, I was fine. Well, fine is a loose term, but so much better than I have been in a long time! Spending time at home was exactly what the doctor ordered! I was able to relax, talk, cry, and genuinely have fun. All things I'd been missing for too long. It's amazing what affect home has on you. In getting ready to go back to Kona, I was a little worried that I might not be ready to go back...there is still a LOT to be processed. But my last few days home could not have been more perfect and the flight here was peaceful. I woke up with an incredible sense of peace in my heart - uncharacteristically so - and spent the 5 hour flight listening to worship music, reading my Bible, and journalling like a mad woman. No stress, no tension, and no break downs. =) Praise God!!! I am still not out of the woods yet, but I'm taking it one day at a time. God provides exactly what I need in the moment that I need it, and He is teaching me how to lean on Him in the here-and-now. I am the type of person who likes to have everything planned out and stable ahead of time, but it seems God has a different idea for this season of my life. I am being stretched and even though it is uncomfortable, I know it is so good! I am growing closer to Him in everything that gets thrown my way and it is all so worth it! "The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." <3 (Psalm 18:2) I've realized this many times before, but these last few weeks have really solidified it in me: God's grace abounds even when we don't see it. Even in the darkest of situations, His hand still holds us. It can be so easy to dwell on what all is going wrong around us, but if we take the time to look at Him instead of ourselves, we can see that He has never let us go. His love shines in both the big and small blessings.
Things like a friend randomly bringing you your favorite treat. Smelling a flower. An unexpected hug. A baby's smile. A quick answer to a desperate prayer. A sunbeam drifting in through the window. A daily devotion that was written exactly for you in that moment. A stranger's kindness. A warm smile that is like a hug from across the room. Yes, the hard things remain, but they never negate all of those little ways that He says "I love you." They are always there to be found if we will only look and listen. What you look for, you will find, so I will choose to spend my life looking for the beauty and the blessings. |
ErikaJeremiah 29:11 Archives
March 2023
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