There is nothing more terrifying, intimidating, or limitless than a blank page. That blinking cursor stares at me, waiting for some inspired flow to erupt onto the page as if it already exists on its own and I simply need to release it. Sometimes that's the case, and yet time and time again I come to the page and am met instead with foreboding silence.
I know there are things inside of me worth saying. I know I have countless thoughts, feelings, questions, and ideas that could each become a saga of their own, so then why is it so hard for me to sit down and release them? I suppose if I knew the answer to that question, then I'd know how to overcome it... There's something so terrifying and beautiful about writing. A blank page is the closest thing we can come to touching nothingness. It's completely empty, waiting for whatever content you give it. It could become a masterpiece or yet another piece of trash. Its potential is nearly limitless, which it turn reveals the limitlessness of my potential to create... And that's terrifying!! Placing words on a page brings something into existence that wasn't there before. Words can create a doorway through which others can enter a whole new realm they never had access to before. They can also spill out like an intelligible string of drivel no more worth being remembered than a sneeze. The eternal goal for a writer it to open that doorway to something beautiful, yet the fear that consistently holds me back is that I'll be more likely to need a tissue... But is avoiding that risk worth losing something that could have been magnificent? I know the answer should be 'No.' It's easy to know what the answer should be... It's a lot harder to live like you believe it. So where do I go from here? I'm not sure... God is constantly challenging me to live boldly and to let Him be the one to make me succeed or let me fail. I know that sounds a little odd, but it's actually very comforting. If I'm to succeed, it's because of His merit and not my own; so I don't need to put the pressure of being perfect on myself. If I'm to fail, then I can trust that there's something more important for me learn from my failure than I would have in doing well. When it comes to writing, I guess that means I can try anything without fear. If it's a mess, then that's fine. If it's good, that's great. What's more important is that I push myself past that threshold of the blank page and see what comes out when I just let loose! Wish me luck =)
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ErikaJeremiah 29:11 Archives
March 2023
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