Ever since I was young, I loved reading stories of different heroes of the faith and the impacts they each made on the world. The Apostle Paul, of course, pioneered the modern concept of travelling missions, and the New Testament is full of the stories of his travels and the many churches he planted. Gladys Aylward spent her life rescuing abandoned young girls in China. George Muller established 117 schools and cared for 10,024 orphans in his lifetime without ever asking for support from a single person. Corrie Ten Boom was an active member of the Dutch underground during WWII and saved an estimated 800 lives.
Stories like these have stuck with me since childhood and I have no doubt they helped foster my own instinctual desire to do what I can to make the world a better place. They have also served to set a very high bar for what I have subconsciously considered to be an "effective ministry." And while I don't think setting a high bar is always a problem, I'm recently coming to recognize that it has also contributed to a nagging sense that I'm never doing enough, and that is something that does need to be dispelled. I was talking to God about this the other day and He asked me a few simple questions that really helped clarify the concept of missions for me. At the end of the day, a missionary is someone who loves God, sees a problem, and partners with God to help bring a solution. The problem itself will always remain no matter how large or effective a ministry becomes, so eradicating large systemic problems such as poverty, selfishness, racism, and hatred really isn't a healthy goal. But one person can make a difference in the lives of other individuals suffering from those problems. George Muller wasn't able to help every single orphan in England, but he did radically improve the lives of over 10,000 people! Neither did he set out to help even nearly that many when he first started - a goal like that would have seemed far too daunting and impossible, and likely would have gotten in his way rather than helping him achieve it. He simply started by helping one child at a time as they appeared in his life, and he trusted fully in God to provide for however many children was necessary. The net sum of his life in hindsight is a staggering success, and yet I'd be willing to bet that the moment-to-moment reality of it felt way less grand than it sounds and more humbling than I could ever imagine. So the important question for me to ask isn't how to know if my life has been a success, how to know if I'm headed in the right direction, or how to create an effective ministry. The only thing I need to be asking is: what problems in the world is God highlighting to me, and what can I do to partner with Him in bringing the Kingdom of Heaven into those places? In the light of those questions, suddenly a lot of my worries and anxieties become unimportant. The answer is so clear that I feel foolish for not having arrived at it sooner. On the grand scale - my constant and underlying motivation for anything I do, anywhere I go, is to love people well. God has given me a particularly soft heart for the brokenhearted, and eyes to see when someone is hurting even when they try to hide it. I don't always know what to say or how to help, but I know that my own heart breaks with those who I can tell are in pain. At the very least, I can commit to pray for them and release the power of the Comforter over their lives. And thankfully God will often give me little tangible things I can do to help as well. They are rarely grand gestures or anything worth writing home about, but I trust that God can and will use things even as small as a hug or a text to communicate that they are seen and loved in the middle of whatever it is they are going through. On a personal level - my heart has long been burdened for my Jewish brothers and sisters who do not yet know the love of their Messiah. Some have purposefully chosen hardness of heart, but most simply don't know that Yeshua came for them at all. I've heard multiple Jews say they thought Jesus was a white European man who simply started his own religion with no connection to theirs whatsoever, and others who even grew up being told that Jesus hates the Jews! I can't even begin to express how upsetting that is!! It breaks my heart to think that the Son of God came and walked on this earth among His own people only to have His memory become so whitewashed over time that they can't even recognize Him. Unfortunately ministry among the Jews has become very difficult after centuries of oppression and mistrust, but I do truly believe that there is hope and that through the Holy Spirit their eyes can be opened to the hope and light of the gospel. And if I can ever be a carrier of that light into their midst then I will consider myself truly blessed. On the horizon - God has recently brought the nation and people of Italy to my heart, and I am so deeply grateful for that introduction. I only spent a month there in 2018, but that was all it took to plant a deep love inside my heart and a desire to see God's hand at work in their midst. What was most highlighted to me was the gaping lack of vibrant, active Christian community available for the people to connect to. I myself looked for a church or youth group of some kind to connect with and only found a couple stray individuals with whom I could fellowship - and they were fellow travelers like myself, not locals at all. The country of Italy is brimming with stunning art and massive cathedrals left behind from centuries of Catholicism, yet the people my age showed no interest or desire for anything of God. They've been culturally steeped in Christian tradition, yet given none of the life blood and therefore walked away from God entirely. It's in this "post-Christian" culture that I so desperately long to see a fresh move of God emerge! I want to see there be a safe place for the youth to find hope and to practice loving one another as God loves. I want to see their deep passion for art and music to be translated into expressions of worship! And I want to see this community be one that shines the light of God's love into every corner of Italian society - both for the locals and for the many visitors drawn to their beautiful shores every year. I know that my life is both small and short, and I have to let go of the notion that the difference I make will be significant or memorable, but that doesn't mean it's not a difference worth making. I know God would not put these burdens on my heart without reason, and I also have faith that my efforts are but the smallest seed from which God can grow something totally new and unexpected. It's not my responsibility to change the world or even to accomplish the tasks set before me, but it is my responsibility to respond faithfully to what I have heard God speak and to follow where I see Him moving. I don't expect this struggle with self doubt to end today or anytime soon, but I am encouraged to remember that God is the one in control. He is the only one who can give weight or meaning to the efforts of my life, and I never want to stifle what He is doing in me by trying to take that control into my own hands. I hope that if anyone else can relate to this struggle that you will also be encouraged by that reminder. God is so much bigger and better than we give Him credit for, and nothing I could ever try to do will ever measure up to what He can do through me when I simply let go of the reigns and let Him.
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ErikaJeremiah 29:11 Archives
March 2023
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