It's been quite a while since I last posted - I hope everyone survived this year's abnormal version of the holidays at least as well as I did! 2020 was by far the most infamous year of my lifetime, and yet somehow it slipped away so fast I hardly even know where it went. Now here we are in 2021 - the year so many of us have been anxiously awaiting - but before I jump into a new year I want to take some time to reflect on what the last 12 months have truly held. I am incredibly blessed to have had a 2020 with as many blessings in it as it had struggles. For every hard day, there was a silver lining to be found and held onto, and I think for me that's really what last year was about. I had such grand plans of working with a pioneering team and relocating to Italy, but all of those got swept away in an instant and replaced with an overwhelming sense of uncertainty that would have easily shattered my spirit if I had let it. It took a shocking level of energy to choose joy every day, but as always I didn't have to do it alone. God always provided the right friend to lean on and the right answer to prayer just as I needed it. I spent the holiday weekend reflecting on all the unique experiences I got to have this year and the many things I learned, and by far the biggest one was patience. I think patience is a general virtue I will always be improving on, but this was a new and unique kind of patience. For the first time I felt empowered to have patience with both myself and with God's perfect timing even when I couldn't see it. It was so obvious that this last year's events had nothing to do with my own plans, but I know even Covid-19 can't take God off guard. I know I heard Him clearly to go to Italy, and I know I felt His hand covering me as I went to Kona to pursue that direction, but He also never promised me a date or a time so I had no right to be surprised when those things changed. In hind sight, I've grown in so many ways through this trial by fire that I don't think I could have gotten through any other set of circumstances. And I would rather pursue my future with as much faith and experience under my belt as I can get. For me, 2020 was a process of preparing and equipping me for a life that will continue to be shifting and uncertain no matter where I go or what I'm able to do or not do. Whether I'm readjusting my plans on a daily basis, isolated from the people I love, or simply frustrated with geopolitical events, I know God will still be in control. None of those things are new to a pandemic, and none will end with 2020 either. Life with Him is not meant to be easy. In this world we will have trouble - sometimes directly because of our faith, and other times simply because we live in a broken and fallible world. God promised He would shake everything that could be shaken, but only in order to reveal that which cannot be shaken. Only when tested does the true strength of my faith in Him get revealed and refined. He is the solid foundation that will never fail, and in a year when every other foundation began to crumble, He has continued to stand firm. That's the foundation I want my life to be built upon. There are a lot of comforts and privileges that will most likely get stripped away at one point or another, and some of those really hurt to lose, but this year has shown me that I can actually lose a whole lot more than I thought and still be unshaken. It sounds cheesy, but just that simple realization honestly fills my heart with such gratitude that it brings tears to my eyes as I sit here and write about it. I have done absolutely nothing to earn or deserve this peace, but it's been given to me anyways. The peace that so truly surpasses all understanding and explanation has been given to me because the Prince of Peace is my very best friend, and we're going through these uncertain times together. I don't have peace in this world or in my own ability to make heads or tails of it, but I do have peace to know that God will bring me out the other side in His perfect timing once I have received the gifts of refinement and growth that He has for me. I would rather walk through fire in this world and emerge as a better reflection of His love than to live comfortably and never change. So while 2020 did royally suck, I am so utterly thankful for the work it has brought about in my life and in my family! And now my prayer for 2021 is not that it would be easy, but that it would be equally as rich. I pray that I can continue to learn and grow through whatever new circumstances may come my way, and I pray that if I do make it to Italy this Spring like I'm trying to that I will be even more equipped to represent Him well. This is going to be a year of even greater surrender than ever before, and while surrender and sacrifice hurt, the rewards are always well worth it. I surrender my hopes, my plans, my finances, my energy, my time, and my life to whatever God will bring me to this year. I don't have a clue what will happen with them, but I do know He isn't about to start failing me now. May your 2021 be filled with the richness and beauty of life as it unfolds all around you. There is so much to be thankful for! I pray that you are able to take hold of it and give thanks even in the midst of whatever new trials this year will inevitably bring. "Rejoice in the Lord always—again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all people. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything—but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the shalom of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Messiah Yeshua.
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