Today would have been my Papa's (John Strong) 67th birthday. Tomorrow will be the 22nd week since he passed away. I know that 5 months sounds like a long time, but it hasn't stopped hurting yet. I don't know if it ever really will. I don't say this in a dismal way, but I won't lie either - it's hard. Even in the pain, though, there is a light of hope in my heart. Besides my parents, he was probably the most influential person in my life. We were very close, literally from day one, as my whole family could tell you. I looked up to him more than I could ever say and growing up with him in my life really shaped me in a huge way. Not only was he such a loud voice speaking love into my life, but he also spoke Jesus into my life as well. He was a pastor for many many years and I grew up having God, Jesus, and spiritual realities being regular topics in which I was actually encouraged to participate and think for myself and make my own conclusions - leading me to make my faith my own at an extremely young age and thus contributing majorly to where I am today. I always knew I was called to the nations and even when he sometimes thought I was being a little hasty in getting there (not finishing college), he heard my heart on it and believed that I was really hearing the Holy Spirit for myself. He gave me his blessing, wisdom, and encouragement as I stepped out and he continued to be one of my biggest supporters till the day he died. I am so blessed to have had him in my life for as long as I did and to have had such a strong and rare relationship with him. Next Saturday I will be co-leading a team to Isreal - a place where he went before me and I so wanted to be able to tell him about. It is a big step for me and I am so excited! This is where God has been leading me for some time now and it is one of my joys that I at least got to share with him the potential of my going there before he passed. While I am painfully aware that I will never be able to come home and tell him the stories of the amazing things God will do there or show him the pictures of my friends and teammates, I know that He is in heaven watching me and I can feel that he is so proud of what I am doing. I am leaning heavily on Jesus as my strength and as my comforter as I prepare and pack to go. Though he isn't coming back and I know I won't get to see him until I, too, go home, I feel connected with him through Jesus. All of those years of him pouring into me and modeling his own love for God, whether intentionally or unintentionally, really helped me learn to run to Jesus and now it seems fitting that I am running to him in this time and in this way. I really got to feel a part of God's love through him and now I can feel that same love even in his absence. Thank you, Jesus for giving me the most amazing Papa in the world for the 19 years that I did have him and thank you that, because he loved you so much, I know that I am never alone.
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