I didn't post much about my uncle's death on facebook mostly because it was just so sudden and we were all caught off guard by it. I process very internally, so it's taken me a little while to be able to share about it like this.
My grandpa's death was also very short notice, but we at least got a chance to get mentally prepared for his passing. My uncle Jeff, on the other hand, had a sudden brain aneurysm that nobody saw coming. To make things even more shocking, the aneurysm was not what killed him. It was a miracle that he was in a public place in a large city (not where he lived) and was given immediate medical attention. They rushed him to a fantastic hospital in Reno and he was getting the care he needed. That event alone shocked our entire family, and we all pulled together to support him and each other. My dad and I were blessed to be able to visit him in the hospital, and he was making a lot of progress. He was weak, but talking and joking around like himself. He still had a lot of healing to go, but he was steadily moving in the right direction, so we all had hope and let our guard down. That's when a blood clot hit his heart and he died. I am so grateful that I got to see him one last time. I still can't believe he's gone. There's been a lot of loss in our family, so I am unfortunately not foreign to the grieving process, but this one hit us all harder than we expected. Last weekend, we all went out to a little town in the middle of nowhere called Lone Pine where our family is from. It holds some of my favorite childhood memories, and it was wonderful to go back there again, but the nostalgia was bitter sweet. We tried to enjoy the family reunion as best we could, but everyone was admittedly on edge. The service was simple and well done. My parents both shared and even Jeff's most redneck friends seemed to appreciate it. It was a fitting tribute to his life and how well he loved us all. <3 I don't cry very easily - ever - but I was actually able to open up and let my emotions out a bit, which helped a lot. My comfort is knowing that he is with Jesus now and having a great time kicking back and swapping stories with God. He didn't talk about his faith a lot, but he loved unconditionally and truly cared about people with God's heart. He was so thoughtful and kind, and always a lot of fun to hang out with. We are blessed to have had him in our lives and will miss him terribly! It was not a very uplifting way to end August, and I have to say that it was a terrible birthday present!! But at the same time, I know that God is still here. Life goes on and there is joy and beauty mixed in, even alongside the pain. Yes, we are all hurting, but we are also given the opportunity to love and be patient with each other through it. And I have to say that it's the small but thoughtful gestures that speak the loudest. These are the moments that make new memories - things like going through old pictures together or playing cards on the floor for no reason - just being together. Love is to be celebrated. It is love that we are mourning and love that is bringing us closer together. Love spans the long distances and doesn't care how long it is until I see my cousins again. Or until I see my uncle again. <3
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