In just about 15 weeks from now I will be flying from California to Hawaii to begin working with YWAM Ships Kona and begin the next big step of my life journey. I've already had many months to process and prepare for this change, and yet the onset of fall has suddenly brought on a new weight and reality to this prospect of change. I am torn between many very strong emotions, each in a different direction. My flesh feels the anxiety of the unknown laying before me and the loss of security which living with my family unit has always provided me. My spirit feels the elation and excitement of stepping into an adventure of faith with Jesus and other people who love Him like I do. My heart feels both the sorrow of separation from my loved ones as well as feeling deeply loved by God to be given such a perfect and unexpected opportunity to shine in the unique way He has created me to. And my mind feels the heavy weight of responsibility that serving in ministry carries. "Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly." Many people jump into ministry from the passion and compassion in their hearts, and they step forward boldly to fulfill their understanding of the Great Commission. This is a wonderful instinct to heed, and at the same time I am also wary to do so with both the wisdom of a serpent and the innocence of a dove. (Matthew 10:16) Everyone has their own idea of what ministry looks like and what making disciples of all nations looks like. We can each only walk faithfully from our own understanding and conviction as we remain in relationship with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. That's why we see so many different expressions of ministry spread across different cultures and denominations, and also why we should never rush to judge the forms of expression that are different from our own. At the end of our lives, we will be held accountable to God and not to anyone else. All I can do is strive to honor and obey God in everything I say and do, and encourage others to likewise do the same. One thing that I will freely admit to have struggled with is the concept of evangelism - particularly while serving with an evangelistic missionary organization. I believe evangelism to be an important function of the church and one of the gifts poured out by the Holy Spirit, but I can't say that it is a gift I myself carry. I am eloquent enough to express myself with a degree of clarity, and I will happily engage in as long or deep a conversation with anyone who wants to know about my own faith and walk with God, but I have never felt the urge or any amount of comfort in crossing someone else's boundary of personal space in order to initiate such a conversation. An appreciation for and better understanding of the heart of evangelism is something I pray God will continue to grow in me. Because this is a mental hesitation of mine, I have actively sought for God to show me what my life in ministry is to look like. I'm sure it will be a blend of using the strength of my own gifts as well as being stretched to rely on the strengths of others when stepping outside of my own comfort zone. One thing this has brought to my mind is the life of Jesus Himself. What did evangelism look like for Jesus? Admittedly, Jesus walked and lived in an entirely different time, culture, and context than anything I ever will. He was the message itself, and not merely the propagator of it. He also did very little to ever promote Himself or His message aside from simply living it out boldly and speaking to those who came to hear Him. He was publicly baptized and He did call disciples to Himself, but He never put up flyers or advertised for his next sermon. His very presence and His growing reputation generated a crowd which followed Him, and people joined and left that crowd at their own choice. Jesus was far more interested in keeping the few who genuinely cared than the hundreds of gawkers who just wanted to see what kind of entertainment He could provide. Jesus always made it a habit to present Himself at the synagogue first - the place of worship where the attendees were already professing to be seekers of God's truth. In other words, He went first to those who by all rights should have received Him. Some did, and others didn't, but He always had to give them the choice first in order to highlight their true heart postures and motivations. After that, He would go into open and secluded places and let people follow Him if they wanted to hear more. After respectfully and lawfully introducing Himself to those religious authorities of the area, he would step away from the grip of their control so He could bring teaching in a neutral context. He came to reform the system, not start a war with it - even though He also came with the knowledge that those in power would be the ones to start a war against Him. So what, then, can I as a follower of Jesus learn form this model? For starters, I don't posit to carry a revolutionary new message that will turn the modern day church on its head. But I do believe I carry seeds of the love and forgiveness I have been shown, and I also believe that by sharing that love I can help others understand God's heart for them better. Hopefully even well enough for them to want to step into their own relationships with Him too. "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. Even though my mission is not nearly as grand as His, I believe that I can still use His general approach and walk in similar humility. To first go to those who claim to know and love God, and then to make myself available to those who know they are in need and who might not believe they are worthy of divine interaction. After all, Jesus didn't come for the healthy, but for the sick. (Mark 2:17) We were all lost in our sin, but it was those who recognized their own brokenness that came to Jesus are were healed. As one who has known the taste of that brokenness, I believe it is my place to share the joy of my own healing in order to give hope that it is freely available to any other broken souls seeking relief. That's what ministry looks like for me.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
ErikaJeremiah 29:11 Archives
March 2023
Categories |
|