Admittedly, texting God sounds weird - even sacrilegious - but it's actually really helpful! It's something I learned in my DTS and haven't used in a while, though I don't know why not. It's not what it sounds like, it's actually not that different from just praying and waiting to hear what God says, but on paper.
It's actually so sad how easy it can be to forget to wait and listen quietly for an answer to your prayer. I ask God everything and trust Him for everything, but so often I find that I don't wait long enough to really hear what He is saying back. "Texting God" is a way to stop and listen. Not just listen, but write. I don't know why it's so different, but writing down my prayers makes them feel more tangible. Even in the process of thinking of what to write down, I realize more about what's actually going on in my heart and what is really bothering me. The best part, though, is writing down what He says back. It might just have to do with the fact that I process by writing, but I seem to hear God's voice so clearly when I simply sit down with a pad of paper and write out our dialogue. To the point that He will even answer my questions before I finish writing them down. Looking back, some of the clearest things I have heard from Him and some of the most heart touching moments I've had with Him have been in this place of simple, heartfelt communication. Simply by taking the time to sit down and not get up until He 'writes back' opens something in my own heart to hear Him better. I don't think it has to do with Him honoring it more than any other form of prayer or that there is anything special to the method, but simply the heart posture in it. It can be easy to go to Him with our problems and heart cries, but do we always expect an answer? Sometimes I think it pays off just to operate on the assumption that He does have an answer that He wants to give us. Not just to have the mental expectation that there is an answer and that He wants to tell us, but to follow through with our actions. For me, that is by sitting down and physically writing. Writing what is heavy on my heart and what questions I desperately need answers for. By writing to Him, I am taking a stance in both my heart and my actions that breaks down the walls of my mind and allows me to simply sit and talk with Him as if we really were texting. And more often than not, I find that by the end of our chat I will no longer be dumping out my sorrows but lifting up thanksgivings. His greatness and goodness without fail awe me every time and I cannot help but pour out my soul's response. It can even resemble poetry, which is funny because I am actually very bad at writing poetry of my own volition. Nevertheless, it is one of the ways that God speaks to me and that I get to speak back - by coming just as me and letting my heart respond to how He meets me in it. Why is it that we can get so caught up in our heads without ever letting our actions reflect what we think we believe? I can tell myself I have all the faith in the world, but it seems that faith - like love - without actions is dead. Without stepping out and living the life we have painted in our minds, we don't give ourselves the chance to really be who we want to be. I want to be a woman who sits at the feet of Jesus and lets His words shape and mold me, but I don't see any actual change until I sit down and purposefully listen to what it is He is saying. I want to be a woman who has the word of God buried deep in the core of who I am, but I don't have that until I spend time meditating on His words. I want to be a woman of wisdom and purity in everything that I do, but I can only do that once I study what God says about those things and actually apply them to my life. I want to be Jesus's hands and feet to bring hope and help to the people who need it, but I don't see that desire reflected in my life until I step outside my front door and see who needs help. I want to be a reflection of Jesus's light in everything I do, but how can I be that before I go to the people living in darkness? It is His spirit that guides me and has put these desires in my heart, now it's my turn to stand up and say "Here I am, Lord, send me."
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March 2023
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